Is He Eating? (ft. Tank) (TGT Remix)

Welcome to our newest Adliberace Original Series Is He Eating?, where we use our powers of deduction, induction, and seduction to arbitrarily decide the successfulness of people far more successful than us.

Editor's Note: Should the subject of our Pulitzer Prize-winning series be a woman, the necessary changes will be made to the title. I got you.

Got it? Get it? Good.

Our first subject is Tank.





This is a tank. This is Tank. For our fans/bloggroupies in Taiwan, we are not taking about this Tank.

Details matter. Never ever say Adliberace doesn't care.

Durrell Babbs, born January 1 (sharing a birthday with every Somali male registering online for Hiiraan.com updates), teamed up with Tyrese and Ginuwine to create the ingeniously-named group TGT. Although the Dark Chocolate Crooners trio have released remixes and tracks together, "Sex Never Felt Better" is their first single and video as an official group.

Tank: Is He Eating?

IN HIS FAVOUR: He's hopping on the "overtly sexual songs that are allergic to subtlety" (see: Pussy is Mine, every Weeknd song) trend. There's money to be had and there's eating to be done.

HE AIN'T EATING: Ginuwine has Pony and Pony pays the bills. Tyrese had a modelling career, semi-respectable music career, and now spends his time with the Rock and Vin Diesel driving around the countryside. In short, they be eatin'. Tank? If Tyrese and Ginuwine are pulling up to an interview with a two-page resume, Tank comes in with his palms together, pleading for a chance. He's basically a undergrad. This hits too close to home.

BUT HE'S EATIN', DOE: Acronyms are all the rage. A$AP, TNGHT, SBTRKT, UOENO. TGT is a simple, but smart name for their group.

MALNOURISHED: Which "T" in TGT do you think stands for Tank?

THREE SQUARE MEALS A DAY: If you search "Tank singer", look at which Tank comes up first.

THE PLATE'S EMPTY, BRUH: Scroll down a bit on the same search results and you'll come across an article with this headline:

lol.

SO...IS HE EATING? By my calculations, we're at a standstill; a statistical tie (we have a high margin for error here at AdLib/Gallup). I need guidance. I need...help. WHERE IS JA? Wait...what's this?

WOAH. GINUWINE'S SO THIRSTY, HE'S DRINKING ADULT CHOCOLATE MILK?

Game. Set. Match.

VERDICT: Tank's not only not eating, but our dude's parched. Our condolences.

Tank is not eating, Ginuwine isn't sharing his adult chocolate milk, and Tyrese refuses to play XBOX at his struggle crib.